1 year.

Wow. 1 year ago today, May 27 2010, I graduated high school. How has it already been one year?? I had so many plans for where I would be right now and what I would be doing. But I guess nothing really works out the way we plan for it, whether for the better or the worse. But I am happy to say I am very happy about where my life is right now, and the direction it's going in as well. I can't even begin to imagine how different my life will be for my 5, 10 or 50 year reunion..


oh the lies..

When I was younger I always thought that as you grew older you would grow up.. ha not true. I think that as I have grown, my maturity level has definitely gone down. I don't care as much about what people around me think, so I just kind of let loose and do as I please. I have some examples of that with a few of my fellow schoolmates..

 So I guess that guy knew what he was talking about when he said something about growing up, but not getting boring. 



Recently I learned about Keats' idea of negative capability.

In its simplest form, Keats' theory describes the ability to accept uncertainty--the capacity to have two opposing ideas in your mind without trying to choose one over the other. It's the ability to believe that two contrasting things are true, both of them, and that they can exist side by side.

Or, in other words, being satisfied with things that are unresolved.

And, well, wow. It struck a chord with me, this theory. How often I find myself trying to sort between black and white, yes and no, this way or that--when really, at the end of the day, what I'd actually like to settle on is both. Yes and yes. True and true. 

Because it's possible, it is, to both love and loathe. To both admire and pity. To both appreciate and--just as truly, just as ardently--regret. It's possible that what's right is not just a matter of either/or, that it's not somewhere in-between--that it's simply both.

For whatever reason, it's difficult to accept ambiguity; it can be a struggle to embrace that sort of doubt. And yet it happens. To all of us.  At some point or another, we know in our hearts that it's not A or B. 

It's C: All of the above.

(Photo: Bourne Wu


i'm still here

Hm I've been a little non-existent lately. And I'm not even going to try and make an empty promise about how I'll become a better blogger, I already know that won't happen.
But in the last few months I've had to made a lot of choices that weren't really expected, but so far I'm pretty pleased with how everything has turned out. Rather than me try to explain everything, I'll just show you some pictures.
went to nickel city and got way too many tickets

went to the Sundance Film Festival and saw celebrities galore
(ie Oprah, cast of The Buried Life, Zoe Saldana...)

Saw Fictionist with my dear friend

went to St George a few times

road trippin

became a "true rebel" at dixie state college

had a lovely time 80's dancing

started going to school to become a Surgical Technologist

and moved out again with a friend (this is my party face.)

So there's your update for now, plan on hearing from again in another 4 months.. haha